“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown