“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"The 12-step chocoholics program: Never be more than 12 steps away from chocolate!"
— Terry Moore
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
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