“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“I’m like Pacman when I’m at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.”
― Unknown
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
— Orson Welles
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."
— W.C. Fields
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown