“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."
— George Carlin
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“I have a passion for not cooking.”
― Unknown
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We're supposed to be exercising."
— Meg Cabot
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
"I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food."
– Erma Bombeck
"I don't eat lobsters, shrimp, or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it."
— George Carlin
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces."
— Judith Viorst
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown