"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”