“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
“Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead!”
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."