"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“I had to stop driving my car for a while… the tires got dizzy.”
— Stephen Wright
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck