"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life."
- Jia Tolentino
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."
– Helen Hayes
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
— Michael LeRoux
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Driving at night is about communicating with lights.”
— Lukhman Pambra
“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.”
– Paul Theroux
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”