“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
– Milton Berle
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry