“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
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