"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
“The U.S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this, they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified. It’s difficult to tell.”
— Craig Ferguson
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
– Milton Berle
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
Go to BabaMail
