“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
“They can't collect legal taxes from illegal money."
— Al Capone
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
“If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation.”
– Farmer’s Almanac
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
— George W. Bush
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
“Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.”
— Evan Esar
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
"Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages."
- H. L. Mencken
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream”
– Bill Murray
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
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