“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
– Milton Berle
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
"Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child: “No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
"You know, gentlemen, that I do not owe any personal income tax. But nevertheless, I send a small check, now and then, to the Internal Revenue Service out of the kindness of my heart."
— David Rockefeller
"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."
- Mark Twain
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein
"A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong."
— Mark Twain
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
― Jay Leno
"Taxes grow without rain."
- Jewish Proverb
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
"Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"
- Lewis Black
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
"The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest amount of feathers with the least amount of hissing."
- Jean-Baptiste Colbert
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
“The Taxpayer’s prayer: Oh Mighty Internal Revenue Service, who turneth the labor of man to ashes, we thank thee for the multitude of thy forms which thou hast set before us and for the infinite confusion of thy commandments, which mulitplyth the fortunes of lawyer and accountant alike.”
— Russell Baker
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose more money than any single person in your life with the possible exception of your kids."
― Harvey Mackay
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
Go to BabaMail
