Competitive Jokes

Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.
The Religious Tennis Match A bishop and a bishop are having a tennis match. The bishop is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the priest who is clearly better. After a volley from the priest, the bishop misses and yells: “God*amn it! I missed!”, startling the priest. He lets it slip and the match continues. But alas, after a fierce back-hand from the priest, the bishop misses and again yells: “God*amn it! I missed!” “Stop it” yells the priest. “You can’t use the Lords name in vain like that!” The bishop apologizes. “I’m sorry, my son. I swear to you, if I do it again, may God smite me with all his might.” “Fair enough.” grumbles the priest, and the match continues. It’s going really well, but as fate may have it, the bishop misses and slips again, shouting “God*amn it! I missed!” Suddenly thick, dark clouds gather in the sky and with roaring thunder, a lightning bolt shoots down to the earth and vaporizes the ball midair. A thundering voice emits from the skies... “Da*n it! I missed!”
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy