What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke? “You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
How did the catholic cowboy greet his priest for confession? “Howdy, pardoner!”
After a day of entertaining the troops, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders meet with the base commander to discuss the rest of the evening. “Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?” the commander asks.
“I don’t think it matters to the ladies,” the head cheerleader says, “but I’m sure a lot of the girls would like to get something to eat first.”
What did the cowboy say about the dead prostitute? Hoedown.
What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo yo. This ain't my first yo yo!
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster! He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
Waddaya get when you cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh? Darn Tutankhamun!
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided if the cowboy city planners had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
What do you call a gassy cowboy? Wyatt Burp.
How did the cowboy greet the equestrian? Howdy Neigh-bor.
What do ghost cowboys wear? Boooots.
Why are cowboys prone to gambling? Because they're always raising the steaks.
What do you call it when dress up like a cowboy? Ranch dressing
What does a millennial cowboy say? Yeet Haw!
A Cowboy was told that if he sprinkled gunpowder on his breakfast, he'd live to a ripe old age So he did this religiously, every morning.
He lived to the ripe old age of 96.
He left behind 8 Children, 24 Grandchildren and 60 Great Grandchildren, as well as a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
What type of car does a cowboy drive? Audi partner.
Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada? Just aboot.
How does a german cowboy say hi? Audi.
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us. --- Acowboy enters the saloon "Who painted my horse blue??"
A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.
"It was me, you have a problem with that?"
"No...I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating."
Why couldn't the cowboy get down from his horse? Because you can only get down from a goose.
A cowboy emigrated to Wales and opened a ranch at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Unfortunately, none of his cattle survived the branding.
Why’d did the cowboy have a wiener dog? Someone told him to get a long little doggie
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."
The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."
"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."
"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."
She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."
"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
A cowboy is walking down main street in nothing but his boots and hat... Shortly after he got into town, a sheriff stops him.
"Sir, why in the hell are you walkin down the street naked as a jaybird?"
"I can explain! See I met this girl named Sally. Well, I took her back to my place and she took her shirt off... So I took off mine. Then she took her pants off... And I took off mine. She whipped off her britches... And I slipped outta mine.
"After that she laid down and hollered, 'Go to town cowboy!'
"So here I am."
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life? Reintarnation
Man in a cinema watching a cowboy film. A stagecoach pulls up, man 1 turns to his neighbour and says "I bet you a tenner that the first cowboy bangs his head on the doorframe." Man 2 accepts the bet. The first guy out banged his head so man 2 pays up.
Man 1 feels guilty and gives back the tenner, says "I'm sorry, I saw this film last week, it made me feel bad taking your money."
Man 2 says "So did I, but I didn't think he'd be daft enough to do it again."
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."
The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
Cowboys don’t roll joints. They tumble weed.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97 So he rounded them up.