Opportunity Jokes

I’ve been selected to hide eggs in my town’s big Easter festival next year!
This is an eggs-hiding opportunity!
Whoever came up with the word dentures really missed an opportunity to call it "Substi-tooths"
The computer had to visit the dentist at the very earliest opportunity as it had a BlueTooth!
Man says to his boss, "Can we talk? I have a problem."
Boss: "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"
Man: "Ok, I have a serious drinking opportunity."
What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?
A golden opportunity.
The Wife's Math A woman comes home and find a letter from her husband on the dinner table. She opens it and reads: "My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, as a 54 year-old, can no longer satisfy. I'm very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. However, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn. Please don't be upset, I shall be back before midnight." When the man came home late that night, he found a reply to his letter on the dining room table: "My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. I would like to inform you that, while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also an assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and, like your secretary, he is 18. You, being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18...
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Turned down an opportunity to invest in a company making frosted glass balls. Couldn’t see any future in it.
What’s the definition of a perpetual bachelor?
A man who’s missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.
Son: Where are you in the photo?
Dad: That's me in the corner.
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