Midnight Jokes

How about I slip down your chimney at half past midnight?
Hey, are you Cinderella because I see that dress disappearing at midnight.
So, what do you turn into at midnight?
If you think I’m hot now, wait until you see what I turn into at midnight.
Hey Cinderella, must be time I took you home. It’s nearly midnight!
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
The Wife's Math
The Wife's Math A woman comes home and find a letter from her husband on the dinner table. She opens it and reads: "My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, as a 54 year-old, can no longer satisfy. I'm very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. However, after reading this letter, I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn. Please don't be upset, I shall be back before midnight." When the man came home late that night, he found a reply to his letter on the dining room table: "My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. I would like to inform you that, while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also an assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and, like your secretary, he is 18. You, being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18...
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
"I'm divorcing my wife. I've had enough, I'm going to leave her."
"Why?"
"She's out every night, going to the bars in town way past midnight and I'm fed up with it".
"What's she doing?"
"She's looking for me!"
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
The bartender told the ghost they don't serve spirits after midnight.
Hey girl. Are you Cinderella?
Just thought because your dress is going to disappear at midnight.
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