Guys Jokes

The Worst Way to Win
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Full Permission
Full Permission Four guys have been going on the same fishing trip for many years. A few days before the group’s annual departure date, John’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. John’s fishing buddies are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do? Two days later the three get to the camping site to find John sitting there with his tent set up, firewood gathered, dinner cooking on the fire, and drinking a cold beer. “Heck John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?” “Well, I’ve been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my recliner when my wife came up behind me, put her hands over my eyes, and asked, “Guess who?” I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into the bedroom, where she’d lit candles and put rose petals all over the place, looked like something out of a movie. Well, she’s been reading 50 Shades of Grey or something. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did. And then she said, ‘Honey, you can do whatever you want.’ So, boys, here I am!”
Someone said, "You are so tall that if you break your leg, you will use ladders as crutches". I simply replied, "I have no time to put up with you guys. Life is short, just like you".
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
We were having lunch with my wife's parents. Her father asked if she and I were still going to a concert later that night. He asked, "Are you guys going out?"
I said, "actually, we're married".
I overheard some guys talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one says "I prefer to sit down".
Another friend, shocked, says "I though you were a stand-up guy?"
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Do you believe guys think with their d!ck? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
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