Girls Jokes

“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
Sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re making the other girls look bad.
"Funny, I've met a lot of pin-up girls, but I've never been able to pin one down."
"Mom, when will I get lipstick like the other girls at my school?"
"You are not like the other girls, Dave."
How to Tell Boys and Girls Apart One November afternoon when my daughter was in kindergarten, I picked her up after school. She bobbed out to the car and crawled into the back seat. "What did you do today?" I asked. She couldn't wait to tell me. "We learned that boys are different from girls!" she chirped. Looking into the rearview mirror, I could just see the top of her head. "My teacher told us that boys have a thing and girls don't," she added. "Well, yes they do..." I said cautiously. I couldn't think of anything else to say, so we were quiet for a moment. Then she piped up again. "That's how girls know that boys are boys," she said. "They see that thing that hangs down and they know that he is a boy." I mentally calculated the distance home. Our five-minute commute already felt like an hour. "Did you know that when the boys see a girl they puff up?" she asked. My palms were beginning to sweat. "Um...well…" I was still searching for something new to say, to change the subject when she asked, "Why do the girls like the boys to have those things?" Well, I didn't know what to say. I mean, what woman hasn't asked herself that question at least once? "Oh, well...um..." I stammered. She didn't wait for my answer. She had her own. "It's ‘cause it moves when they walk and then the girls see that and that's when they know they are boys and that's when they like them. Then the boy sees the girl and he puffs up, and then the girl knows he likes her, too. And then they get married. And then they get cooked." That last part confused me a bit, but on the whole, I thought she had a pretty good grasp on things. As soon as we got home and I pulled into the garage, she hopped out of the car, fishing something out of her school bag. "I drew a picture," she said. "Do you want to see?" I wasn't sure I did, but I looked at it anyway. I had to sit down. There, all puffed up so to speak, looking mighty attractive for the ladies, was a crayon drawing of a great big Tom Turkey. His snood, the thing that hangs down over his beak, the thing that female turkeys find so irresistible, was magnificent. His tail feathers were standing tall and proud. She was a little offended that I laughed so hard at her drawing, and I laughed until I cried. But when I told her I loved it … and I did … she got over her pique. That was the end of that, for her anyway. But I'm not so lucky. Every year I remember that conversation. And to be honest, I haven't looked at a turkey, or a man, the same way since.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Girls just wanna have sun.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
I don't normally like girls who wear red coats. But, for you I'll make an exception.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
I went to an XXX Girls Show in Rome
There were just 30 girls...
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
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