Canada Jokes

Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada?
Just aboot.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
Canada is planning a mission to the moon
They're calling the spaceship the Apollo-G.
If you were born in France. Raised in England moved to Canada and died in the USA what are you...?
Dead.
Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada?
Just aboot.
I've seen a lot of Canada, but you could take me to the top of the world.
I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's cuddle.
Help me score one more time for team Canada?
Are you from Canada? Because if you're wondering if you can go out on a date with me, well, you CAN–UH-DUH!
Foreign Trouble in Canada
Foreign Trouble in Canada A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water." "But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal." "Wait a minute," said the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'!" "Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
It wasn't til I studied Spanish as an adult that learned Spain discovered Canada.
As our teacher explained it, the first maps said "Acá, nada."
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
How About That Duck, Sir?!?
How About That Duck, Sir?!? A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." The lawyer thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "You can have the duck."
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