Australia

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
How to Use Timbuktu!
How to Use Timbuktu! A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
The Leather Worker
The Leather Worker A leather worker was flying to Australia when his plan crashed. As bad luck would have it, he got separated from the rest of the floating passengers and found himself stranded on a small deserted island. Desperate to survive, the leather worker searches the island for food to eat. Luckily, he finds a herd of docile cows on the island. He successfully hunts one of the cows and skillfully cleans and prepares the cow's skin and meat for himself. With a steady supply of food, the leather worker knew it was time to find a way off the island. He decides to make a large canopy out of the cow's leather and used some leaves to spell out S.O.S that could easily be seen from above. A few days later, a passing plane spots the message, and calls a ship to rescue the man. It just goes to show you that when all else fails, the best thing to do is to hide in plane sight.
You are living proof that Australia was colonized by criminals, because it's 'criminal' how good you look.
Here in Australia it's already tomorrow, wanna know what we did last night?
Are you Australia? Cause your geographical location is hot.
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
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