Wild Jokes

"When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?"
- Lucy Parker
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Did you know Davy Crockett had three ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a wild frontier.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What's the best time of year to see gorillas in the wild? Ape-ril.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
The $5000 Desk Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window. He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is. “That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper. “$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley. “Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?” The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins there. “Wow, that’s pretty cool,” says Stan. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?” At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop. “Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” wonders Stanley. The desk’s legs slide apart and its drawers drop down.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
Good thing I’ve got travel insurance, ’cause things are about to get wild.
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

- Erma Bombeck.
Your pheromones are driving me wild.
I was born in the wild but for you I would be domesticated.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
"Bone to be wild."
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
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