Outside Jokes

I just heard some coyotes outside. I don't want to sleep a lone wolf tonight.
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
"Why don't you go home to your wife? Better yet, I'll go home to your wife, and outside of the improvement, she won't notice any difference."
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six,
Grooms itself using its tongue and licks.
I give it breakfast with a friendly pat.
That's the daily morning of my cat.

Returns for lunch at one o' clock.
Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk.
Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat.
That's the daily afternoon of my cat.

Naps after lunch outside my door.
Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores.
Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat.
That's the daily evening of my cat.

Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner.
Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner?
Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat.
That's the daily night of my cat.

(M. Tarun Prasad)
There once was a hunter named Frawley
Who lived in a shack, outside Raleigh.
His dog, funny but true,
Would only hunt honeydew.
The dog was a true melon collie.

(William Robinson)
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
The Good Samaritan I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, “You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!” She didn’t hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, “You floor your purse on the floor outside McDonald’s." "Thank you so much!" She exclaimed. "Where is it?" "I just told you, on the floor outside McDonald’s."
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Tonight I will be exercising my freedom of assembly… outside your bedroom window.
It's pretty cold outside. How about we start a bonfire? I'll bring the wood.
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