“Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock."
~ Pablo Picasso
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
“Unemployment is capitalism’s way of getting you to plant a garden."
~ Orson Scott Card
“Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Anonymous
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
“We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us."
~ Anonymous
“Pride, commitment and teamwork are words they use to get you to work for free.” – Anonymous
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“I believe in hard work. But, it will take some time to make this believe into a real thing!"
~ Anonymous
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
~ Erma Bombeck
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
“I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what thay means? You know what your boss was trying to say? It’s like, ‘Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.’” – Chris Rock
“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” — Henny Youngman
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?"
~ J. Paul Getty
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” – Andy Stanley
“God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die."
~ Bill Watterson
“My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” — Author Unknown
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
~ Douglas Adams
“Getting paid to sleep… that’s my dream job.” –Unknown
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“My favorite animal is steak."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day!” — Anonymous
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“My son is now an ‘entrepreneur.’ That’s what you’re called when you don’t have a job.” – Ted Turner
"Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy."
~ Huey Long
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow