“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
“When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.”
“How to get a yoga body: 1. Have a body 2. Do yoga.” – Unknown
“Today’s good mood is sponsored by yoga.” – Unknown
“Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
— Unknown
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something." — Fran Lebowitz
"I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there."
- Jim Gaffigan
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."
- Plato
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
Billy Wilder
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Henry Kissenger
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”
- Jim Bishop.
“I’m a Capricorn and I’m mad loyal — mad loyal! — and I will always look for the good in people.”
— Jeannie Mai
Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!
Billy Connolly
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." - Henny Youngman
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
“Summer vacation: where you drink triple, see double and act single.”
“All kidding aside, if everyone did yoga, we would have world peace.” — Rory Freedman
“I am a friend of the workingman, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow.
“I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday.”
“I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” - Wendy Liebman
“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.”
— Greg Tamblyn
“12 weeks old: when your kid is young enough to fall asleep on your chest, yet long enough to kick you in the nuts at the same time.” – Lin-Manuel Miranda
“Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment.”
Betty White
“The most delightful advantage of being bald—one can hear snowflakes.”
– R. G. Daniels
I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.
― Noel Coward
“I'm always in a bad mood on Monday morning. It makes me hate everything for no reason whatsoever.”
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. -- G. K. Chesterton
“I’m giving thanks that we don’t have to go through this for another year.” — Adele Larson, “Home for the Holidays”
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
Steven Wright
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough." — Russell Brand
“Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.”
— Tony Smite
"I love you with all my belly. I would say my heart, but my belly is bigger." - Unknown
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
“Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.”
- Adam Smith.
"The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman." — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself."
~ Anonymous
"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." – Lionel Kauffman
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