"Love is sharing your popcorn."
- Charles Schultz.
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
Will Rogers
"Running won't solve all your problems. But then again, neither will housework."
Unknown
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. -- Thomas Ybarra
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
"This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes."
— Unknown
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
Abraham Lincoln
“My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled “duck!” to warn him, but it just made it worse.”
- Kelkulus.
“It’s the 21st century. I don’t need an alpha male to protect me. I don’t need a big, strong man to fight off a tiger. I need a geek who can get my naked photos off the cloud.” — Whitney Cummings
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." - Doug Larson
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy but the Bible says to love your enemy."
- Frank Sinatra
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“I'm not napping this is savasana.”
- Berndt Vogel
“Don't be so humble – you are not that great.”
Golda Meir
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
Adolescence: A stage between infancy and adultery
Kevin Goldstein-Jackson
"Taurus won't forget it. Taurus doesn't forget anything."
— Linda Goodman
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
"I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom."
— Unknown
“Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” — Josh Billings
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
- Rita Rudner
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” — Don Marquis
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”
- Mark Twain.
“You know there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... Husband!” —Bill Maher
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend 10 years of my life constantly asking someone where his shoes are.”
Damien Fahey
“Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.”
– Garry Moll
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"What is a home without children. Quiet." – Henny Youngman
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. -- Aldous Huxley
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“If I was elected president, the first thing I would do would be to eliminate all Mondays and lengthen the weekend one more day.”
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