“Sign for a beginner’s yoga class: Enquire Within.” – Unknown
"I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments, and sheer lack of common decency that we should be best friends."
— Unknown
"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
“Sagittarians are not normally sentimental; however, they can get really attached to a favorite sweater that has seen better days.”
— Therrie Rosenvald
“Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.”
— Neil Simon
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
"Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move?"
– Jeanette Winterson
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
Will Rogers
“No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx
"If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people."
- Victor Cousin
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
“If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.” —Aldo Cammarota
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." — David Sedaris
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
Anthony Burgess
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
- A. A. Milne
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
“I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. I hope he changes all of mine one day…”—Kristen Bell
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’”—Michelle Obama
“I heard about a trend where, this Thanksgiving, people made tiny turkeys. You may know them by their other name: chicken!” — Jerry Seinfeld
“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
Dave Barry
"One meditator to another: Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?" – Unknown
"I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, 'And another thing ...'” — Felicia Michaels
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates
“The more you’re loving and understanding, the more your kids will sing.”
- Maxime Lagacé
“I got chucked out of yoga class after misinterpreting Half-Moon Pose.” – Unknown
“The road to success is always under construction.”
“Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world, but they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.”
- Ray Romano.
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.”
- James, ‘Look Who’s Talking.’
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.”
- Ryan Reynolds.
“I love you and I treasure you and ya bore me.” - Amy Santiago, 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine'
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
“The learned fool writes his nonsense in better language than the unlearned, but still ‘this nonsense.”
– Benjamin Franklin
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’" - Claude Pepper
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
“Some mornings I wake up grouchy. Other mornings I just let him sleep.”—Unknown
“Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.”—Mae West
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
Steve Martin
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
“I’m a typical Capricorn. I’m hardworking, loyal, sometimes stubborn, and I don’t believe in astrology.”
— Jonah Peretti
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
"Some people would fall in or out of love with you if you lose or gain a few kilos."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Go to BabaMail
