"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."
- Marsha Doble
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures." - Robert Benchley
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
“Anywhere is walking distance if you have got the time.”
Steven Wright
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me"- Fred Allen.
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"If your doctor's last name is Google, it's time to get a second opinion…" - Toni Bernhard, J.D.
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"Never eat more than you can lift"- Miss Piggy.
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"I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren't in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets."- Dolly Parton
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back"- Franklin P. Jones
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounding yourself with ass****s." - William Gibson
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
“Eating words has never given me indigestion.”
Unknown
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."- Steven Write
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
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