“The best thing about animals is that they don’t talk much.”
- Thornton Wilder.
“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”
- Eddie Izzard.
“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”
- Ann Landers.
“In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
- Terry Pratchett.
“There’s no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.”
- Wesley Bates.
“A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well—almost.”—Charlotte Gray
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.”—Charles Yu
“They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.” —Andrew A. Rooney
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“If owl parties aren't called hootenannies, this world will never make sense again."
- Reverend Badger
“No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.”
- Kin Hubbard.
“Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help."
- Alex Haley
“It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.”—John Grogan
“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.”
- Sue Murphy.
“Animals may be our friends, but they won’t pick you up at the airport."
- Bobcat Goldthwait
“If I'm ever being chased by a giraffe I'm gonna run into a place with low ceiling fans. Sorry, giraffe, but I gotta do what's best for me."
- Amber Tozer
“The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.”
- Ambrose Bierce.
“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”
- Franklin P. Jones.
“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.”
- Max Eastman.
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
“Watching a dog try to chew a large piece of toffee is a pastime fit for gods. Mr. Fusspot’s mixed ancestry had given him a dexterity of jaw that was truly awesome. He somersaulted happily around the floor, making faces like a rubber gargoyle in a washing machine.”—Terry Pratchett
“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
“What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job.”
- George Carlin.
“Saw a chameleon today so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one." - Unknown Author
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”
Winston Churchill
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”
― Tamora Pierc
“I find that ducks’ opinion of me is greatly influenced by whether I have bread."
- Mitch Hedberg
“God in his wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.”
- Ogden Nash.
“I’ve never met an animal I didn’t like, and I can’t say the same thing about people.”
- Doris Day.
“Lots of people talk to animals... Not very many listen though... that's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne.
“If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.”
- Mark Twain.
“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
- Andy Rooney.
“In LA we get coyotes in our garbage cans. Coyotes are just like my relatives. They go out in pairs, they whine at night, and they go anywhere there’s food."
- Billy Crystal
“I don’t understand people who don’t touch their pets. Their cat or dog is called a pet for a reason.”
- Jarod Kintz.
“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.”
- Phil Pastoret.
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” —Jeff Valdez
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx
“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid."
- Mark Twain
“When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.”—Kristan Higgins
“In order to maintain a well-balanced perspective, the person who has a dog to worship him should also have a cat to ignore him.” —Peterborough Examiner, Canada
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”
- Samuel Butler..
“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson
“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
- Corey Ford.
“The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man, it is to know that and to wonder at it.”
- Jacques Yves Cousteau.
“The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
- Mad Magazine
Go to BabaMail
