“I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.”
― Unknown
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half-eaten sandwich."
— Violet Matters
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
"Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing."
— Joss Whedon
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments."
— Bethenny Frankel
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
“I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“The only clubs I’m interested in are sandwiches.”
― Unknown
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"I'm not sure how the average American would differentiate National Dessert Day from any other day."
– Andy Borowitz
"We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie."
– David Mamet
“My mind says ‘abs’ but my heart says ‘cheese fries’.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
— Calvin Trillin
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz