“Love and sausage are alike. Can never have enough of either.”
— Trixie Koontz
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.”
― Unknown
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“If you know how many cupcakes I’m holding behind my back I’ll give you both of them.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
“A pizza slice a day keeps sadness away.”
― Jet Paacal
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
“I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we’re having cake.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
"Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon."
— Doug Larson
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."
– J.R.R. Tolkien
“You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.”
― Unknown
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
"I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good if it's the pepper or the oni."
— Ulrik Stephens
"Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks."
– Marilyn Wann
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“I didn’t get this physique by not eating tacos.”
― Jon Tester
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
"Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup."
— Henry James
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Pizza is like the entire food pyramid!”
― Madeline Oles
“I thought about losing weight once, but I don’t like losing.”
― Unknown
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Don’t believe everything fortune cookies tell you. Just because they’re sweet doesn’t mean they’re right.”
― Unknown
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
— Barbara Johnson
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
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