"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight."
– Rita Rudner
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.”
― Unknown
"Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is."
— P. J. O'Rourke
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
“Little known fact, gentlemen. Tacos are the food of genius.”
― Heather Brewer
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."
— Jonathan Swift
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
— Jo Brand
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"I just want someone to look at me the way I look at food."
— Unknown
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
“The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.”
— John Walters
“When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets because stressed spelled backward is desserts.”
― Unknown
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman
“All my life I thought air was free until I bought a bag of chips.”
― Unknown
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
"Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos."
– Don Kardong
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
"I don't share blame. I don't share credit. And I don't share desserts"
– Beverly Sills
“Being a beaver is nice, if you’re hungry you just eat a piece of your home.”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
— Mark Twain
"Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche."
— Lewis Grizzard
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again."
— George Miller
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Snack time heals all wounds."
— Bridger Winegar
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks."
— Totie Fields
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.”
― Bill Murray
“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
― Amy Neftzger
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”
― Henny Youngman
"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first."
– Ernestine Ulmer
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
“I’m glad I don’t have to hunt my own food, I don’t even know where sandwiches live.”
― Unknown