"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."
— Julia Child
"If we shake out all of the crumbs from all of the keyboards in the world, we can end world hunger."
— Matthew Dolkart
"There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap."
— Kevin James
“A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.”
― Unknown
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie."
— Jim Davis
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
“When life hands you lemons, give them back. You deserve chocolate.”
― Unknown
“I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.”
― Unknown
"I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge."
— Unknown
"A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze."
— Stephen King
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight."
— Yogi Berra
“Abs are temporary. Chocolate is forever.”
― Unknown
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
“Swiss cheese differs from Camembert by better ventilation.”
― Unknown
“You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza.”
― Unknown
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
“Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.”
― Dean Koontz
“Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.”
― Bill Murray
“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
“Every day is National Donut Day if you put your mind to it.”
― Unknown
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
“Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.”
― Unknown
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."
— Mark Twain
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
“Love means never having to say “Should we get dessert?”
― Unknown
"Carbs are the answer. No matter the question."
— Unknown
“Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.”
― Unknown
“How do I like my eggs? In a cake.”
― Unknown
“The key to my heart looks a whole lot like a plate of pasta.”
― Unknown
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
“An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.”
― Unknown
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
"If I hold a can of soda up to my ear and listen carefully, I can hear my bones pleading for a glass of milk."
– Bridger Winegar
"Never eat more than you can lift."
— Miss Piggy
"The trouble with eating Italian food is that, five or six days later, you're hungry again."
– George Miller
“A party without a cake is really just a meeting.”
― Julia Child
“Everything goes better with tacos.”
― Rachel Caine
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
— Will Rogers
“You only live once… Lick the bowl!”
― Unknown
"After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
— Oscar Wilde
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
― Unknown
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
“Another day, another 13,000 calories.”
— Andy Lassner
“There’s no “we” in ice cream.”
― Unknown
"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
— Ellen DeGeneres
“Anyone who says that money cannot buy happiness has clearly never spent their money on pizza.”
― Andrew W.K.
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
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