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vegetable quiz Jokes

vegetable quiz Jokes and more.
Little Johnny and the Name of the Lord
A Sunday School teacher decided to quiz her students about what they learned that year. Sunday School Teacher: "Okay class... who can tell me what are some different names used when talking about God?" Little Johnny: "Hallowed!" Sunday School Teacher: "Hallowed? How did you get that as an answer?" Little Johnny: "It’s in the Lord’s Prayer: Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name..."
Family Puns
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Spice Puns
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
Nature Puns
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
The Advanced New Supermarket
As Josh strolled along the street, he saw his buddy Michael striding along anxiously with lots of bags in his hands. "Hey Michael, is everything alright? You seem kind of jumpy." Michael set the bags on the ground and said, "Yeah, I was just now at the state-of-the-art supermarket that they launched in the industrial part of the city." "Oh? What's it like there? I heard it's remarkable." "Kind of..." Michael replied. Josh was amazed when Michael described the grocery store with enthusiasm - emphasizing the atmosphere of naturalness and genuineness. You could hear cows mooing and smell the barn in the milk section. In the egg aisle, chickens were cackling and the chicken coop was in the air, and it was even better in the vegetable section - you could literally hear the farmers and smell the fields! "Wow, that sounds incredible!" Josh exclaimed. "Well, yes, in principle." said Michael with a grimace, "But this is the last time I'm going there to buy toilet paper."
Pick Up Lines
If you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber.
Crow Puns
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
Koala Puns
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
Food Poems
Roses are red, I’m not wearing a suit,
Carrots are not vegetables, they are actually fruit.
Flower Puns
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
The Hungry Tenant
A man rents a room, and pays extra on the condition the landlady prepare his work lunch every day. So on the first day, she packs him a sandwich on normal sandwich bread, using the last night's leftovers of meatloaf, adding in some fruit and a bottle of soda. When he comes home, he politely tells her that it wasn't quite enough food for him. The next day, she makes two sandwiches (turkey this time), and adds a container of salad, some crackers and peanut butter, and a slice of cake. That night, he told her most apologetically that while the food was delicious, he found himself still hungry, and could she possibly put in a little more tomorrow? The next day, she uses long slices of sourdough bread to construct a pair of huge sandwiches, and includes crackers and peanut butter, chips and dip, and veggies and ranch dressing, and a whole 2-liter of soda. That night, he smiles very kindly, and tells her it was almost enough food. The next day - throwing caution to the wind, and idly wondering if she's feeding his entire workplace - she cuts a loaf of bread in half and stuffs it with pounds of meat and cheese, an entire head of lettuce, tomatoes, onions, other vegetables, sauces: everything! That night, he fixes her with a dry look and says, "So, I see we're back down to one sandwich?"
Pea Puns
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
The Lord's Hunter
A hunter lived alone in the middle of a forest, in a small house by the river. A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish. One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he saw the river had flooded. Overflowing its banks, the waters swelled and flowed past, getting ever so closer to the hunter's abode. It would not reach the house, the hunter observed, for it had the higher ground. But there was no hope for the vegetable garden -- it was only a matter of minutes before the floodwaters would wash over it, ruining his harvest for that season. "Godda**it," the hunter muttered. Right before the hunter's eyes, a bolt of lightning struck the bank at the other side of the river, followed by a deafening clap of thunder and a massive explosion. Trees, rocks and chunks of dirt flew hundreds of feet into the air! No sooner had the debris started falling back to the ground when a monstrous tornado blew in from parts unknown and scooped them right up again. The tornado headed straight towards the river, uprooting more trees and rocks in its path, carving a deep gouge into the earth. As soon as the tornado blew across the river, there was another flash of lightning and deafening clap of thunder. The tornado disappeared as quickly as it had materialized. The uprooted trees, rocks and dirt crashed into the river, diverting its waters into the deep gouge in the earth. The floodwaters receded, having come within inches of the hunter's vegetable garden. Having witnessed the whole extravaganza from start to finish, the hunter could only stare, wide eyed, his legs shaking and mouth hanging stupidly open. It was a while before he finally managed to speak. "Whoa." Then, from above him, a voice boomed: ”YOU'RE WELCOME."
Onion Puns
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Food Pick Up Lines
If you were a vegetable, you'd be a CUTE-cumber.
The Most Dangerous Food
A dietitian was once addressing a large church in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago." He cried out. “Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us think about the germs in our drinking water!" He stops dramatically and gives them all a long look. “However, there is one food that is the riskiest of all - and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what risky product I'm referring to?” A hand shoots up. “Yes you, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head, wiped away a tear and said: "Wedding cake."
Ketchup Puns
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Food puns
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Knight Puns
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Vegetable Puns
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What are a submissive's favorite vegetables?
Collared greens.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?

The broccoli.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you call it when vegetables have siblings?
Pumpkin.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Zombie Puns
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Fruit Puns
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
Garden Puns
What did the pirate call his vegetable patch?
His garrrrgh-den.
Spring Puns
I have a pogo stick made out of vegetables. It’s a spring onion.
Cat Puns
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
Spain Puns
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
Spanish con-quiz-daters.
Dog Puns
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
The Elephant Scheme
A man visits a zoo and asks to speak to the director about the new "Rent-an-Animal" program. The zoo has fallen on hard times financially, so they decided to rent some of their animals outside the usual visitation hours. Usually its the small, cuddly ones, but this man asks for one of the elephants. "An elephant?" The zoo director asks. "Yes, the biggest one you have, please." the man says, quite certain. "I mean, we can do that..." the director muses, "But it won't be cheap. That's $5,000 per day of rental alone and an additional $4,000$ for transportation. And you'll need to feed the elephant on your own bill, too." "That will not be a problem." the man says. "I'll just need him for a day, so here's $10,000 for your troubles." With that settled, the elephant gets transported to the mans address. "Very good. Put him in the bedroom on the second floor", the man orders. The personnel tries to get the elephant into the house, but he just doesn't fit through the door. Without hesitation, the man calls a construction company and rents a crane to get the elephant up, through the dismantled window and then re-seal the window at horrifyingly high cost. "You know what, it is none of my business", the zoo director asks at this point, "but I must know: What is all this for?" "Well, you see", the man explains, "My wife's brother is living with us and he's a horrible know-it-all. Every quiz show we watch, he blurts out the answers before we can even take a guess. Every morning, he solves our crossword puzzles. He has beaten me fifteen times in a row at Trivial Pursuit. But this evening... This evening he will go upstairs, come back down and say: 'Hey, guess what, there's an elephant in my bedroom.' And I won't even look up from my book and just say 'Yes I know.'"
Electricity Puns
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
Dinosaur Puns
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
Salad Puns
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Heart Puns
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
The Game Show Contestant
Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question.  Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are! You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow." "Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK."  Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon."  After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!" "What is it?" she cried excitedly.  "OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' " The couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber.  At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly.  So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane and asked the big question.  "Jane, for $65,000, what are is the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds."  "Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good.  Six seconds." "Eh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."  "That's close enough!" said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS!!!"
Mushroom Puns
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
Corn Puns
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!