Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

Be a winner, date a swimmer!
Are you as spicy as your artisan hot sauce?
You must be mitochondria because you are the powerhouse of my heart.
If you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber.
You know I'm da man you been wading for.
Are you Darth Vader, because I wouldn't mind if you used a little force to choke me.
Hey, I just got my flight number. I’m just missing your phone number.
If I told you you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
I need more than 140 characters to tell you how beautiful you are.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you, I would guess.
Are you a keyboard ? Because you are my type.
Can you teach me how to use this machine?
Excuse me, I think you dropped something: My jaw.
Sorry, but I can only be with you twice.
That's Now...and Forever.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see!
You're that ugly that if I could do myself, I wouldn't need you.
If there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I have been searching for!
Are you glitter? Because you add sparkle to my life
Hey girl, are you related to Abraham's nephew?
Because I like you a LOT.
We should get coffee sometime, because I like you a latte.
My favorite element on the periodic table is Uranium, because I am in love with U.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
If anyone says you’re a 10/10, they are lying, you’re an Ella-ven
I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
If home is where the heart is, then my home is in you.
Is there a fireman around? Because you are smoking hot.
Am I in the advanced class? Because I like to go hard.
I don’t play soccer but you’re my goal.
Go with me and you'll be (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2.
Girl, are you Netflix?
Because I love watching 'you.'
I know "Good Morning" in 5 different languages
Which do you want to hear tomorrow?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
The first time I saw your hiking boots, I knew we were sole-mates.
Let’s put our tulips together.
If you were a vegetable, you'd be a CUTE-cumber.
Oh, the heat! Doesn’t summer know – you’re all the sunshine I need!
Hey Cameron, did you know your name was an anagram for romance?
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Are you my lines? Because I could never forget you.
Man: If your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch, I wouldn't be able to resist snacking between meals.
Woman: If your left leg was yoga and your right leg was cycling, I wouldn't be able to resist kickboxing between classes.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
"You could be drinking whole [milk] if you wanted to."
- Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Hey I need a female opinion - what do you think would look better on me, this or this?
Are you a dog? Because I'd like to throw you a bone.
Shouldn’t we be carbon dating right now? Let’s get on with it.
You elevate checking out to a mystical event worthy only of gods and champions.
Tonight I will be exercising my freedom of assembly… outside your bedroom window.
Let’s pretend you’re a croc so we can wrestle!
I want your flesh rocket in my hot pocket.