Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

You're a good egg.
Do you want to play house with me? You can be the front door, and I'll slam you until sunrise.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
You’re a perfect ten(t).
I'm like a Christmas present - you'll love waking up to me in the morning.
I don't care *how* many items you've got, baby, I could check you out all day long!
I think we'd grow a great organic garden together.
Hey girl, did you know I'm a cashier?
Because I'm totally checking you out.
If you had the same amount of money as your phone number, how much would that be?
Can I be your next varietal?
I think we Anthon-eed to get to know each other soon
I know my math. And you’ve got one significant figure!
Every function without you will always be void of love.
I need an Imodium because I can't hold in my love for you.
Give me just a FRACTION of your heart and I will SOLVE all of your problems.
I'm no sandman, but I can take you to cotton candy land.
Are you from Mars? ‘cuz I wanna explore you with curiosity?
Wanna go out this weekend? Maybe go on a quick John-t around town?
The ref better give me 2 for hooking, 'cause baby I'm hooked on you.
Let's procreate like the snakes in the Narcisse Dens.
So tell me Ian, what’s the most Ian-teresting thing about you?
Are you one of Job's daughters?
Because you're twice as beautiful as any other girl I've ever seen.
I think you might be a star because I can’t stop orbiting around you.
If you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
You’re the gravy to my turkey.
Til death do us part and then some, dear.
I didn't know angels flew this low.
You make me wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
Honey, you’re a slam dunk!
Hello, allow me to hi-Jack this conversation
Love me till ice cream.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
Hey pretty lady, let me take you out on a first date in the snow. I promise I’m not a flakey person.
We should train together, I've heard it's good for bone density.
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee…So I could get close to your lips.
I’ve always wanted to be a farmer’s wife.
Have you checked in yet? Because I've been check-in you out all day.
You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
You sweep me off my feet!
Hello... I've been admiring your bacterial signature.
If you go out with me, I promise I won’t take you for granite.
You are my butter-half!
Do you want to be disappointed tonight?
Girl, you are so fine, I had to upgrade my graphics card just to admire your pictures.
I like 25 letters of the alphabet
But I love U.
Wanted to use a cheesy pickup line but toBrianna-st with you, I think puns are sort of ovedone
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Did you just fart?
Why, because I blew you away?
No, because you smell like sh*t.
Were you arrested today? It must be illegal to look so beautiful.