What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Sorry, I had a pick up line for you but I got so distracted by your beauty.
"Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches."
— William Goldman, The Princess Bride
You must be regulated by the FDA because you treat, cure, and prevent my broken heart.
Call me Hamstring, 'cause you've pulled.
Are you a baker? ‘Cause those buns look TASTY.
Baby I'm gonna teach you what love's all about tonight
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
If you ask me if I love you I'll have to plead the 5th. Don't want to incriminate myself.
Forget a trophy wife…. I’m looking for a Sophie wife
I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve got 3 bags of Cool Ranch Doritos in your basket. Marry me?
Are you a banana? Because you're great at the splits.
Donut take this the wrong way, but I just want to sprinkle you with sugar and spice.
Hey baby, can I get your phone number? Oops, too late.
Man: I can make your bed rock
Woman: No you can't I have a Tempurpedic.
Even the Chocolate factory doesn't make candy as sweet as you.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
Sorry, I don't believe in love at first sight. But I am willing to make an exception in your case.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hop on board my yellow submarine and I'll make you twist and shout.
I'm wearing green, you're wearing green, we have so much in common we should go out sometime.
My love for you is like this hike. It goes on and on.
Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion.
Girl you're like my favorite Spotify playlist... No matter how much I wander I'd always come back to you.
Are you in the Library catalog? I'd love to get you're number.
I can tell what a woman drinks just by looking at her, and for you it's a diet coke.
Roses are red, violets are blue....
....
....
Sorry I just got lost in those eyes of you.
I need an Imodium because I can't hold in my love for you.
I’m concerned you just might be my poison, Ivy
Without you, my life is as empty as the supermarket shelf.
When I see you, I feel like I am going to reach my melting point.
I really caribou-t you.
You must be Gisele Bundchen’s twin sister. You know the one no one talks about because she’s more beautiful than Gisele.
You must be my coronary artery because you’re wrapped around my heart.
I’ll open your heart like Nixon opened the door to China in ’72.
You’re the only rein-dear for me.
Tonight I will be exercising my freedom of assembly… outside your bedroom window.
You look like the morning sun after a long night of darkness.
I would hate to see you go, but I love watching your leaves.
In your hands my heart is clay, To take and hold as you may.
I’m not an astronomer, but I still promise to give you the sun, moon, and stars.
What are you doing for the rest of your afterlife?
You are the best compression gear because you made my blood flow.
You brighten up my day just like the anti-fog spray for my goggles.
I'll love you until Tom catches Jerry and has him for supper.
Are you a customs agent? I feel like I need to declare my love to you.
How was heaven when you left it?
That’s a beautiful dog. Does she have a phone number?
I like the way you espresso yourself.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ima.
Ima who?
Ima horny, let's screw.