Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
I don't work at this store, but may I be of assistance to you anyway?
Sit back and relax… I fix broken hearts.
Who needs a sled when you can just ride me?
You can toast my marshmallows anytime.
Your name must be trigonometry, because you make me want to cry.
If you look at the map of my heart, it says 'You are here.'
Darling, I never want you to leaf me.
I have a connection to make, but first I want to connect with you.
This headlamp isn’t the only thing getting turned on tonight.
Hey babe, can I colonize your land and exploit you for your natural resources.
Sorry, I don't believe in love at first sight. But I am willing to make an exception in your case.
How does it feel to be the only star in the sky?
Built up some confidence to reach out…hope you don’t igNora me
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I would be holding a galaxy.
I'll be kicking myself if I don't get to know you better.
No taxation without representation! But, there is a kiss tax. Strictly enforced and right on the lips.
Your hand looks heavy. Here, let me hold it for you.
Without you, I’m like a null set… Empty.
If I was your heart would you let me beat?
Aww, what's your pup's name? He has such a sweet face.
The Tsar Bomba, the most powerful nuclear explosive in recorded history, has an output of 57 megatons of TNT
And that pales in comparison to how much of a bombshell you are.
I’m concerned you just might be my poison, Ivy
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
How much will $20 get me?
I know, I’ll never have a chance with you but will you give me a chance to hear an angel talk?
Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with a nice little fellow?
Are you good at finding things? Because I think you may have found my heart. Also, I don't know which zone I parked my car into so I need help with that too. Thanks!
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Are you Darth Vader, because I wouldn't mind if you used a little force to choke me.
Hey baby, are you my flight? Because I wish I could catch you.
Nice beach balls, can I play?
When I look into the Mirror of Erised, I see you giving me your number.
Wow, you drive me Davi
Does your daddy have a pet owl? Because you are a hoot.
Are you made of grapes? Because you are fine as wine!
Do you know which aisle the edible underwear is in? Oh, wait, wrong store!
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
What are your times? Because I can show you the time of your life.
Your beautiful face looks like a field of flowers.
You look like the morning sun after a long night of darkness.
You are unbe-Leah-vably gorgeous
Did you see the glitch earlier? You weren’t listed as the top hottest single.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all 9 lives with you
I’ve always loved the name Alexandra. Should I call you Alexandra, Alex, Lexie, or mine?
Can you tell me the oxidation state of this atom? If you can’t, then you can tell me your phone number instead?
Are you a burger? Because you can be the meat between my buns.
You make me want to upgrade my Tivo.
Hide in the kitchen, hide in the hall. I will catch you.