Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

Hey girl… Can I call-cu-later?
You can stand under my umbrella.
I heard kissing is the language of love so...
Do you wanna start a conversation?
Hey, wanna be Jere-MY-ah?
What are your plans tonight? I’ll be free if you’re feeling a little Leo-nly…
Nice Ass-teroid.
You are more precious than my blue suede shoes
Hey cutie nice pants, got any room in there for me.
Hey girl, do you ref during the playoffs? Cause you look like you can swallow a whistle.
Is your name Sunshine? Because you are “In my soul today”.
Are you an alarm clock? Because I want to kill you.
You’re the gravy to my turkey.
Baby, when you're near me my heart beats like a hedgehog's. That's about 300 beats a minute.
You just caused a heat wave.
Are you a microprocessor or are you etching to see me.
Dominic Pick-Up Lines
You're spicier than Sriracha.
The way you wear that sarong, it should be called a saright.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
"So… Do you like cheese?"
- Duke, She’s The Man (2006)
You can put your hands at my heart’s center.
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
Pies aren't the new cupcakes, baby. You are.
Hi, I hear you’re good at algebra… Will you replace my X without asking Y?
How was Heaven when you left it?
Are you a red blood cell? Because you never fail in delivering what my heart needs.
You know you're just like the sun, your beauty is blinding.
If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together
I think you might be a star, because I can't stop orbiting around you.
Are your highways? Because I want a long drive on you.
Are you tinsel? Because I want you all over my tree.
Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte!
Hey girl, are you gold? Because I'm in Au of your beauty.
Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
Hmm, there seems to be a kiss of mint in this blend. How about a real kiss, just to be sure?
Do you like interjections? YES? NO! GOOD!
Know what? I dig you, really!
If you were an element you'd be francium because you're the most attractive.
Roses are red

Violets are blue

You made my life a mess

Please call a clean-up crew
You must be a sustainably farmed mushroom because you’re really growing on me.
Can you drive my car?
Coffee, tea, or just more of me?
If I buy a soccer ball, will you kick it with me?
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Howie.

Howie who?

Howie gonna hide this affair from your husband?
Hey babe, can I colonize your land and exploit you for your natural resources.
I'm a gymnast, so if you're down for some mattress yoga, count me in!
You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
(Pick up a sugar packet off the floor) Uh, miss? I think you dropped your name tag.
You’re so beautiful, you make me feel like an arpeggiated chord… broken.
Let’s put our tulips together.