Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

If you can join the seas and the rivers, why not join your lips and mine?
I ain't greedy baby, all I want is all you got.
You are sweeter than 3.14.
Did the Lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?
"I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination."
- Gossip Girl
When are you going to invite me to church?
I meditate about you. Will you do the same too?
"I know your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hey girl, I’m not just going to show you the world, I’ll show you the universe.
Are you one of Job's daughters?
Because you're twice as beautiful as any other girl I've ever seen.
I want to stretch with you.
Are you a microprocessor or are you etching to see me.
Excuse me, I just farted over there. Can I stand here with you?
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Has a guy ever walked up to you just to tell you how beautiful you are?
They must have been much drunker than I am.
Hey Audrey, Audreyly like to take you out
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Your hand looks heavy—can I hold it for you?
I would hug you after a Bikram Yoga class
If you were a basketball, I'd never pass because I want to keep you all to myself.
I couldn’t help but approach, you’ve been on my mind Twenty four Evan
Sedimentary rock has got nothing on the many layers of your amazing personality.
Hey sugar-buns, do you play Center? Wanna be the center of my attention?
Has anyone ever told you that you look like an ancient Chinese scroll? Because I can't stop looking you up and down.
I'd drink your bathwater.
Hey baby, you’ve captured my eye. Could I have it back?
Baby, you've bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat. I'll be your captain.
You can hold my hand if you're afraid of camp fire stories.
I don't want to make the faux-paw of coming on strong, but your dog is so adorable, I couldn't resist.
Wanna churn butter with me?
I’ve got my phone, and you have your phone number… imagine the possibilities.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
Your body has the nicest arc length I have ever seen.
Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?
Permit me to restructure the periodic table of elements and I would place U and I together.
You can dump tea in my harbor any time.
Of course your name is Amy. I can already tell you’re Amy-zing
Whenever I saw the beautiful smile on your face, my heart jumps like a happy little kangaroo.
For you, I would slay two Goliaths.
I'd spend Tuesdays with Morrie, but baby, I'd spend every day with you.
This may be cheesy, but I think you're grate.
I didn't think I was a snowman, but you just made my heart melt
I give roughing a whole new definition.
If you were a fishing fly you'd be 'irresistible'.
Fall hardly happens here, but You'll be falling for me.
Call me Kathleen Wynne ‘cause I’d spend all my money on you.
When I log my run in my journal today, it will say I ran with my future wife today.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
You can take me home tonight, but only if Yuletide-y up your place.
Wow, your name makes sense because you’re truly Audrey-m come true