Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

The only crime I will ever commit is stealing your heart.
Nice dress, can I talk you out of it?
I can go 90 minutes without stopping.
Your mausoleum or mine?
I could’ve sworn I had your number. I guess you’re going to have to put it on my phone again.
"I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my ass."
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Are you a cat because I'm feline a connection between us.
I feel an attraction between the two of us that is more than just our physical gravitation.
Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are BeAuTi-ful.
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Not even Fahrenheit, Celsius, or Kelvin can measure how hot you are!
Are you a flower? Because I'd love it if you planted one on me.
Hi, Cupid just called. He wanted me to tell you that he needs my heart back. Would you do that?
If you were a tree, you'd be an evergreen, because I bet you look this good year-round.
Have you ever driven a boat? Try to park it on my dock.
Are you a model?
Theres a party in my pants and your invited.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Looking for some hunka hunka burning love?
My golf number may not be that good but my phone number sure is!
Knock knock!

Who's there?

Needle.

Needle who?

Needle little love right now.
I think you and I could make a perfect Caleb-oration
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
Look into my compound eyes and say you'll eat our young.
Dang, girl. You're a fielder's choice.
Hi. Do you remember me? Oh, that’s right—we’ve only met in my dreams.
You know what you would look really beautiful in?
My arms.
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? MY ZIPPER!
I give roughing a whole new definition.
My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
Are you from pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
Date a soccer player. We can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions.
Guy: "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Girl: "No, but I did scrape my knees a couple times crawling up from hell."
I just want you to know: I think you're El Salvadorable.
If we are both math majors, then why is there so much chemistry between us?
Hey babe, can I colonize your land and exploit you for your natural resources.
Is there an airport nearby? Or is that just my heart taking off?
You can put your hands at my heart’s center.
You must be a sustainably farmed mushroom because you’re really growing on me.
(While she’s leaving) "Hey, aren’t you forgetting something?"
Girl: "What?"
"Me."
I'm from the Outback and I'd like to take you out back.
Why settle for metaphors? How about I turn that simile into a smile?
You remind me of my last biking accident. Because I am going head over heels for you.
Is it hot in here or am I just wearing two pairs of long johns?
We fit together like a gitch in a wedgie.
You had me at cello.