Funny Pick Up Lines

Horrifically bad and funny pick up lines from men and from women

Funny Pick Up Lines

My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
Baby, I would trade the entire candy bar in the world for you.
Are you from China? Cause I'm China get your number.
If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would P on U.
Nice legging. Are you making a fashion statement? Because you got my attention.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
What are your times? Because I can show you the time of your life.
Are you a fortune cookie?
Because you're always wrong.
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
I‘m no photographer, but I can picture us running together.
I’d love to spend some time Matthew
Are you a train? Because I want to be the light at the end of your tunnel.
Mmm baby! You’re decomposing in ALL the right places!
I’d be Carol-ying if I said you weren’t absolutely stunning.
I don't work at this store, but may I be of assistance to you anyway?
You: Can I borrow a quarter?
She: why? (if she says sure or something else get her to ask you why).
You: so I can call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
I wish I had some butter for them biscuits.
Are you a ghost? Because you’ve been haunting my dreams.
Norway are you leaving without giving me your number!
I don’t play soccer but you’re my goal.
I just gotta say, you and that dog are looking awfully fetching in your photos.
Airplane food is always so terrible, so I always pack my own food. Want one of these chocolate covered strawberries?
Would you sleep with me for $100? I could really use the money.
I was blinded by your beauty...
I’m going to need your name and phone number for insurance purposes.
If we were binary, you’d be the one for me.
Angels could fly, but I didn't know they could run.
From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be spending the rest of my life trying to avoid you.
I can’t tell if that was an earthquake or if you just seriously rocked my world.
Is this the bus stop?
Because I'm here to pick you up!
Hey girl, are you related to Abraham's nephew?
Because I like you a LOT.
My favorite attractive force is Van der Waal's force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't.
You're the second greatest thing to happen to me. Jesus being the first.
Will you Scarlett me take you out this weekend?
Did you know I'm the Ronaldo of lovers?
You don't need reflective gear, darling. Who could ever miss you?
Your mausoleum or mine?
Oh, sorry I spilled your drink. Can I buy you another?
If I was an operating system, your process would have top priority.
Theres a party in my pants and your invited.
Let's 'bag' this place and go get a coffee. And yes, I am proud of that pun.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only 10 I see!
You are one well-defined function!
You know what they say, wheat fields are made for sowing.
Is your nickname Mercury? Cause you look habitable.
I was hoping you’d text first, but clearly Abby-t you to it
You can toast my marshmallows anytime.
"You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat."
- Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached (2011)
Let’s go to my place. I’d like to show you my puck collection.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.