“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
"It's amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?"
- Zig Ziglar
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Only on a cruise shiip will you pay hundreds of dollar a day to sleep in a closet."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"Drive slow and enjoy the scenery - drive fast and join the scenery."
- Douglas Horton
“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
– Mark Twain
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“If you don’t like how I drive, get off the sidewalk.”
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
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