"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you."
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”