“Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
– Ronald Reagan
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
- Herman Wouk
"There can be no taxation without misrepresentation."
— J.B. Handelsman
"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
- Will Rogers
"Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'?"
- Rob Knauerhase
"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."
- Will Rogers
“For every tax problem, there is a solution which is straightforward, uncomplicated-and wrong.”
“The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.”
– Bill Vaughan
"Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay."
- Milton Friedman
"If cigarette taxes are meant to discourage smoking, wouldn’t income taxes discourage working?"
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
"We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill
"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
— Dan Quayle
"The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government."
- Barry Goldwater
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
"The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall."
– Denis Healey
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
“Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing.”
“I put all my money into taxes. They’re the only thing that’s sure to go up!”
"You don't pay taxes ― they take taxes."
― Chris Rock
"America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation."
- Dr. Laurence J. Peter
"Instead of taking the pants off the taxpayer it might be better to take the vest off the vested interests."
— Mark Twain
"I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged."
- Roger Jones
"I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is I could be just as proud for half of the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
— Dave Barry
"Death, taxes, and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them."
― Margaret Mitchell
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes.”
— Mick Jagger
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
"The politicians say 'we' can't afford a tax cut. Maybe we can't afford the politicians."
— Steve Forbes
"The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax."
— Thomas Dewar
“Intaxication: That nice feeling you get when you receive a tax refund until you realize it was your own money in the first place.”
“When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as ‘psychopaths’, and then the rest of us.”
– Jimmy Kimmel
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."
- Fred Allen
"A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it."
- Ann Landers
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income."
— Will Rogers
"The term “tax humor” is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
— John F. Lekel
"If you don’t drink, smoke, or drive a car, you’re a tax evader."
– Thomas S Foley
"There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him."
- Robert A. Heinlein
“When there’s a single thief, it’s robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it’s taxation.”
– Vanya Cohen
“People that cheat on their taxes truly disgust me. This is not the world I want to raise my 27 dependents in.”
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?”
– Milton Berle
"Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks."
- Bauvard
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
- Albert Einstein