“Trying to do your own taxes is like a do-it-yourself mugging.”
“How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.”
"A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers."
— Jay Leno
"The taxpayer: that's someone who works for the federal government, but doesn't have to take a civil service examination."
- Ronald Reagan
"Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even."
- Will Rogers
“I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
— Douglas Adams
“The trouble with the IRS is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.”
“I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.”
— Soupy Sales
[on filing for tax returns] "This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher."
- Albert Einstein
“On my income tax 1040 it says “Check this box if you are blind.” I wanted to put a check-mark about three inches away.”
– Tom Lehrer
"A tax cut to compensate for a tax increase is not a cut — it's a con."
— Tony Abbott
“Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
– Peg Bracken
"Most entrepreneurs would rather have root canal surgery without anesthesia than go through the nightmare that is tax return preparation."
— Nina Kaufman
“It's easy to find out who is going to become a tax collector. In the nursery, give all the kids lemons. The one who squeezes it dry is going to work for the IRS.”
"It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for."
- Will Rogers