Where do aliens park their flying saucers? At a parking meteor.
Going to Hooters
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to New York and the other to Washington. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."
At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where
you wanna go?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one
says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they
have senior discounts."
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Because we've never been there before."
“Okay, let’s give it a try."
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Law of employment: When leaving work late, you will mostly go unnoticed. When you leave early, you will meet your boss at the parking lot.
A Holy Parking Spot
A man drives to the local mall. He has been driving around and around for quite some time, struggling to find a parking space.
“Lord,” he prays. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.”
Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot.
Without hesitation, the man says: “Never mind, found one!”