Face

A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Man to wife, “Blow out your candles and make a wish”.
The wife does but a look of disappointment crosses her face.
“What’s the matter,” he asks.
“My wish didn’t work.” she replies.
“How do you know already?” he enquires.
“You’re still here.”
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
A face like yours,
Belongs in a zoo.
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
---
Acowboy enters the saloon
"Who painted my horse blue??"

A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.

"It was me, you have a problem with that?"

"No...I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating."
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Para-Lympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?”

“No, hurdles.”
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
Wisdom or Money?
Wisdom or Money? A man goes on a trip to the desert. At one point, he walks off alone, and suddenly stumbles upon an old lamp. It's old but may bring a few bits, he rubs the lamp and is amazed when a genie pops out! The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world. The man says "We all know that money does not bring happiness, and that popularity just makes you a slave to the whims of others, but wisdom is everlasting. I want to be the wisest man in the world." The Genie goes "poof" and suddenly the man's face assumes a serene expression. He sits down, rubbing his chin in thought. Then he looks towards the genie and says, "I should have taken the money".
What did the hand say to the face?
Nothing. Fingers can’t talk.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”.
The horse replies “My wife is leaving me and I just got fired."
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile?
Your face muscles.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, “Why the long face?” The horse says, “Evolution.”
Little Johnny Gets a Warning
Little Johnny Gets a Warning Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said: "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."