Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in New York? Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a Nativity Scene on Capitol Hill. This isn't for any religious reason. They just haven’t been able to find Three Wise Men in DC. A search for a virgin was also fruitless. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been.”
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t.
A man goes on a trip to the desert. At one point, he walks off alone, and suddenly stumbles upon an old lamp.
It's old but may bring a few bits, he rubs the lamp and is amazed when a genie pops out!
The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world. The man says "We all know that money does not bring happiness, and that popularity just makes you a slave to the whims of others, but wisdom is everlasting. I want to be the wisest man in the world."
The Genie goes "poof" and suddenly the man's face assumes a serene expression. He sits down, rubbing his chin in thought. Then he looks towards the genie and says, "I should have taken the money".