Excited Jokes

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” — Cher
March 17 is near, and I am so excited about it. The clover it gets, the more excited I become.
I told my boyfriend we could watch a dirty movie for his birthday and do what we saw in the video.
He was super excited... until I screwed the pizza guy.
A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
“The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He’s got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.”

- Jeff Foxworthy.
Girls on Cruise Jenny was sitting reading her favorite magazine when suddenly an ad pops for an all-expenses-paid cruise for the low price of $500. She excitedly goes to Jack, her husband, and shows him the ad. "Look Jack," she says, "it's in two days and only $500!" "I'll be honest with you," said her husband, "I have too much work for a cruise. How about you go and have a good time?" His wife is a bit disappointed but bounces back and decides she will have a good time anyway. The next day, Jack is in his office when his co-worker, who is also his mistress, comes to him excitedly. "Look Jack," she says, "there's this cruise tomorrow that is on sale! Only $500!" "I'm really not into cruises, to be honest." Replies Jack. "Here's $500, why don't you go and have a good time?" She agrees to do just so, and as it turns out, both his wife and his mistress ended up going on the same cruise. A few days later, his wife comes back from the cruise. As she tells him how much fun she had, she shows him photos she took. While looking them over, Jack notices that his lover Brenda is in some of the photos in the background. He points to her and asks his wife: "Who's she?" "Oh, her." sniffs his wife disdainfully, "I call her the cruise-slut because she slept with half of the men there." The next day, Jack goes to the office and gets the same excited story accompanied by photos from his mistress Brenda. Once again, he sees a familiar face in some of the photos - his wife. He then points to his wife and asks Brenda: "Who is she?" "Oh, her!" says Brenda, "She's such a nice woman, with all the men on board, she never left her husband's side for a second!"
My Creeper gets excited when it sees how hot you look.(Minecraft)
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
You make me more excited than gifts under a Christmas tree.
I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound.
He said, "He can't have my nose, I need it!"
A Frog Outta Luck There's a frog who has a unique kink: He falls in love with human girls. Of course, no human girl will touch him. Desperate, he goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."  The frog becomes excited, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"  "No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."
So my daughter is calling me all excited. I come by her room to her holding her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Are you the World Cup? ‘Cause I get excited just waiting for you.
Is that a cucumber in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?
“Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.”

- Ryan Reynolds.
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