Jack Jokes

Whats worse than getting fingered by Captain Hook? Getting raped by jack the ripper.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Little Johnny Counts to 10 The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Jack was in the playground when one of his friends asked, "Yo mama so tall did she play basketball?" He replied, "Your mom is so short. Did she scrub floors?"
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Jack is a lovable man with a colorful personality. He is a great hue-man.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
“L.A. is so celebrity-conscious, there’s a restaurant that only serves Jack Nicholson — and when he shows up, they tell him there’ll be a ten-minute wait.”
Bill Maher
If I had Jack Sparrow's compass, it'd be pointing at you.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
Why is the giant afraid of Jack?
Because Jack's beanstalking him.
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