"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world."
— E. B. White
"In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Help…I’ve ran out of weekend!”
– Unknown
“Good morning world! Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.”
– Unknown
"Every morning is a battle between the superego and the id, and I am a mere foot soldier with mud and a snooze button on her shield."
— Catherynne Valente
“Morning will come, it has no choice.”
— Marty Rubin
"I can rise and shine, just not at the same time."
– Unknown
“So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience.”
— Moss Hart
"There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, 'Good morning, God,' and the other is to say, 'Good God, morning'!"
– Fulton J. Sheen.
"I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake."
— Lewis Black
“There is nowhere morning does not go.”
– Leah Hager Cohen
“I smiled right after getting up. I think I dislocated my face. Good Morning!”
– Unknown
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
— Jean Kerr
“Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o’clocks in one day.”
— Terry Pratchett
"Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it." — Richard Whately
"When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off.”
— Crystal Woods
"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said, “No, I made a few mistakes.”
– Steven Wright
“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something."
— Robert Heinlein
“Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.”
— James Marsden
"Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all." — David Lynch
“Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.”
— Marlo Thomas
“I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
— James Lileks
“Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
— J.R.R. Tolkien
“I need to get up; my coffee needs me.”
— Unknown
“There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.”
– Kristen Chandler