"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” — Homer Simpson
“It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children."
~ Alan Alda
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” — Joe Girard
“Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” — Peter Drucker
“I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” –Anonymous
“Like vinegar to the teeth, and smoke to the eyes, so are the lazy to their employers.” – Proverb 10:26
“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” — Mark Twain
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary."
~ Vince Lombardi
“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” – Sam Ewing
“Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” – Sam Ewing
“You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic.” — Zig Ziglar
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when no one is looking."
~ Anonymous
“Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” — J. Paul Getty
“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."
- Groucho Marx
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” — Bertrand Russell
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."
~ Homer Simpson
“Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
~ Al Capp
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” — Groucho Marx
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime is doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” — Zig Ziglar
“There’s something boring about people who have to go to an office for a living."
~ Karl Lagerfeld
“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get."
~ Ray Kroc
“I’m not retiring, I am graduating . . . retirement means that you’ll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. It ain’t going to happen.” – Junior Seau
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein
“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”- Muhammad Ali
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” — Groucho Marx
“Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” — Ed Bernard
“There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard
“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
“A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” — William C. Feather
“The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches."
~ Bove’s Theorem
“In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse."
~ Archie Bunker
“I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I’m lying. – Rita Rudner
“The reward for good work is more work.” – Francesca Elisia
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti
“Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
“My job is fun! I should change this line once in a while. My brain has started to realize that I am lying to it every morning."
~ Anonymous
“I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
“It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” — William Faulkner
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