“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” —Oscar Wilde
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno
“You can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. That’s like Fourth of July without apple pie or Friday with no two pizzas.” —Joey Tribbiani, Friends
“Happy Thanksgiving! This year I’m thankful that your family is so annoying you’re checking Twitter instead of talking to them.” — Stephen Colbert
“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”—Erma Bombeck
“May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” —Anonymous
“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” —Michael Dresser
“I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.” — Joan Rivers
“Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.” — P.J. O’Rourke
“I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.” —Charlie Brown
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