"Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway."
― Robert Downey Jr.
"I’m so cool I wasn’t actually born, I was defrosted."
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
— Jim Henson
"I’m so cool that even ice cubes are jealous."
“They laugh at me because I’m different: I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”
"They say good things take time, so that’s why I’m always late."
"Sometimes you just need to lie on the couch and read for a couple of years."
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
— Winston Churchill
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
“The bags under my eyes are Prada.”
“Stretch marks are just rad lil’ lightning strikes here to remind you that you are a force of nature.”
"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including yourself."
— Anne Lamott
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
– Ellis Vidler
“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.”
— Harvey Specter
"I’m staying home today. I have mood poisoning."
“When you realize your self-worth you’ll stop giving people discounts.”
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”
― Truman Capote
“Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.”
“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
— Jennifer Elisabeth
"Know your worth, and then make sure to add tax."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
― Elbert Hubbard
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”
"I’m so hot that I contribute to global warming."
"Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you."
— Katie Reed
“I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.”
– Lucille Ball
"I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful."
"I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
“Let’s begin by taking a smallish nap or two.”
– A. A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh)
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
― Margaret Mead
"I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."
― Mary Wortley Montagu
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
– Charles Schulz
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”
“We must fall in love with yourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.”
– Mae West
“Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.”
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
― Joe Girard
"Don’t forget to drink water and get some sun. You’re basically a houseplant with more complicated emotions."
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
— Zig Ziglar
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.”
– Betty Reese
“When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?””
– Sydney Harris
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
– Maxwell Maltz
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
– Benjamin Franklin
“I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.”
– Oscar Wilde
“Self-love seems so often unrequited.”
– Anthony Powell
"Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood."
— Bill Murray
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
— George Carlin
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”
— Shannon L. Alder
"People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. The glass is refillable."
"If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid."
— Rigel J. Dawson
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