“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally sh** myself lifeless.” – Bill Bryson
"My idea of camping is falling asleep on the couch with the window open."
- Clarke Kant
“There. Right there is where you lost your darn mind!”
"I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
- Fran Lebowitz
"Camping is a humanitarian effort to help feed hungry mosquitoes."
- Melanie White
“You are as helpful as a blister on a hike.”
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs."
- Fran Lebowitz
“Always hike with someone in worse shape than you. The bears out there will know.”
“To hike is to complain.” – Dean Johnston
“When asked about my hiking plan I answered “Let’s summit up”.”
“Hiking is just walking where it’s okay to pee.” – Demetri Martin
“I chose the road less traveled and now I don’t know where I am.”
“Camping is not a date; its an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”
“I might look like I am listening to you, but in my mind, I am hiking.”
“At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hiking, it’s that the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.”
“When life gives you mountains, put those boots and start hiking.”
“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” - Steven Wright
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“Hiking—much like drinking—is something that sounds more fun to the uninitiated than it actually is.” – Mindy McGinnis
“Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark
“Where are we? About halfway…to somewhere.”
“I bought a new jacket for a hiking trip. It’s called a trail blazer.”
“Hiking is the only slightly less ugly stepsister of running.” – Lindy Hughes
“Sleeping bags are the most soft tacos of the bear’s world.”
"Going on a hike is like having your car break down but on purpose."
- John Lyon
“Did you know the actual difference between hill and hell is just a fine line?”
“Climbing to the top of the mountain is fun, but everything is just downhill from there.”
“Bring a compass. It’s awkward when you have to eat your friends.”
“If the winter is too cold and the summer is too hot, you are not a hiker.”
“I don’t get it. The trail looked so flat on the map.”
"I'd like to connect with nature but there's no USB port" - Dan Masso
“Some people walk in the rain; others just get wet.” – Roger Miller
"The closer you are to nature the further you are from idiots.”
“I just wanna kick it in the woods with my birches.”
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