“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
"Money is like a sixth sense – and you can’t make use of the other five without it." ~ William Somerset Maugham
“To make a million, start with $900,000.” - Morton Shulman.
“Saving is a very fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.” – Winston Churchill
"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy." ~ Groucho Marx
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery." ~ Joan Rivers
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions." ~A.A. Latimer
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” ~ Joan Rivers
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
“Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” - Jenny McCarthy
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.” —Addison H. Hallock
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money." ~ Henny Youngman
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence." ~Max Amsterdam
“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.” Max Asnas.
“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.” – Mark Twain
"If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves." ~ Lane Kirkland
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.” — Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
"Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street." ~ Jay Leno
“What’s worth doing is worth doing for money.” –Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) Wall Street
“I’m so naive about finances. Once my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain, ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.” – Brooke Shields
“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning." ~Aristotle Onassis
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?" ~ John Barrymore
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
“People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”—Joan Rivers
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -JP Getty.
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
“Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.” — Steven Wright
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
"Don’t stay in bed unless you make money in bed." ~ George Burns
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.” — Satchel Paige