“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
"I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not." ~ Fran Lebowitz
“The trick is to stop thinking of it as ‘your’ money.” – IRS auditor
"Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money." ~ Anonymous
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage." ~Doug Larson
"Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like." ~ Will Smith
"I despise the lottery. There’s less chance of you becoming a millionaire than there is of getting hit by a passing asteroid." ~ Unknown
“A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” -Spencer Tracy quotes
"There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one." ~ Jack Yelton
“Women prefer men who have something tender about them – especially the legal kind." ~Kay Ingram
“It doesn’t matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.” ~ Anonymous
“Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today." ~ Herman Wouk
"Money doesn’t change you. It reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice." ~ Tim Ferriss
“It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white… the only color that really matters is green.” – Family Guy
“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” Peter Ustinov.
“Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.” – Rebecca Johnson
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
“When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.” – Artemus Ward
“In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” –Tony Montana (Al Pacino) Scarface
“Money often costs too much." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” – Earl Wilson
“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be” — unknown
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow." ~ Martin Sheen
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single.” – Billy Crystal
“When I was young I thought money was the most important thing in life; now that I’m old, I know it is." ~ Oscar Wilde
"We live by the golden rule. Those who have the gold make the rules." ~ Unknown
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
"I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. Nothing changed." ~ George Carlin
“If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one." ~George Gobel
“If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account." ~ Woody Allen
“The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache” – Mae West
“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.”- Josh Billings
“I’m stuck between “I need to save money.” and “You only live once.”” – Anonymous
“Money’s only something you need in case you don’t die tomorrow.” – Carl Fox (Martin Sheen)Wall Street
“All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan
“Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness never had any.” —Samuel L. Jackson
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.”-Nick Arnette
"The safe way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket." ~ Kin Hubbard
“Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.” – Gloria Steinem
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
“Misers are no fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.” —Tom Snyder
“Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it." ~ David Lee Roth
“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” - Errol Flynn
“Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.” – Robin Williams
“If there is a WILL, there are 500 relatives.” – Anonymous