"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body."
- Cher.
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason
"I don't get why people pay to exercise in a gym when it's free to not exercise."
- Bridger Winegar
"If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym?"
- Dave Attell
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself." —Mickey Mantle
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward." - John Mortimer
“Excercise? I thought you said extra fries.”
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." —Redd Foxx
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
“It’s bizarre that the [grocery store] produce manager is more important to my children’s health than the pediatrician.”
Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
"The best abs exercise is five sets of stop eating so much..."
– Lazar Angelov
"My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass." - Leslie Grimutter
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"I've always enjoyed poor health." —Taylor Caldwell
“All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.” —Alexander Woollcott
"I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness." - Aldous Huxley
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"I go to the gym three days a week. You have to or else - I don't want to be the guy that dies shoveling snow."
- Douglas Coupland
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." —Erma Bombeck
"Warning... I'm exercising, eating right and watching my alcohol intake... which means I'm sober, I'm cranky and I'm sore, so proceed with caution!"
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.”
Sammie
"Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window, except that the birds might eat them." - Martin H. Fischer
"Many so-called spiritual people, they overeat, drink too much, they smoke and don't exercise. But they do go to church every week and pray 'Please help my arthritis. Please help me bring up my strength, make me young again.'"
- Jack LaLanne
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind." - G.K. Chesterton
"Men scream and go crazy in the gym. I'm a silent workout partner, but when my adrenaline gets up, I talk trash."
- Fergie
"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'"
- Jim Gaffigan.
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
"Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." —Lily Tomlin
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training ."
- Immortal Souls.
"Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle."
- Earl Blumenauer.
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
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